We’ve all been there, where we lose our cool. Where we raise our voice a bit louder or spank our child a bit quicker (or harder) than we care to admit. We say something we instantly regret. For the first time, my wife and I took our three kids camping without any other family support. The last time we went camping was part of a family reunion, where our kids have cousins to play with and we have siblings and parents to help keep an eye on the kids. We had finally made the time and built up the courage to embark on a camping trip with our three kids under five. It was going quite well, until about 1:30 in the morning.
Needless to say, we were all lacking sleep and a bit irritable on day 2. I was in one of those moods where everything your kids do seemed to get under my skin. Is that just me? Parenting is tough. But in these tense moments (or days) in particular, there’s a certain skillset needed to handle emotions, disobedience, or tantrums. That’s where “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” comes in.
Overview
“How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” was initially written in 1980, but the concepts have been so impactful that the book is still one of the most popular parenting books out there. A number of versions have been released since, adding new content or tailoring it to more specific audiences.
Chapter 1 of “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” is foundational to the concepts taught throughout the book, as it emphasizes listening and addressing feelings. It feels like a chapter that no one really wants because they’re hoping for more meat and potatoes, and the book practically admits as much, but you can’t eat meat and potatoes until you’ve had the milk. That’s what chapter 1 is. Even in that first chapter, my eyes were opened to quite a few areas for improvement in my parenting– so much so that I listened to the chapter twice.
Another chapter focuses on praise and encourage, giving a unique and unexpected view on the matter. I’ve long thought that I need to give praise more freely, but perhaps I really need to give encouragment more as well. Particularly as I strive to teach my boys life skills around our half acre, such as caring for the goats and chickens or how to treat others.
Of course, each chapter is filled with its own unique gems. By the end, I was feeling empowered to tackle parenting differently. At least, until my kid was screaming over the most random thing and I only saw red. I wholeheartedly believe in the skills taught in this book, but putting them into practice is a whole nother thing. It’s going to take me a lot of practice, just like I’ve had to learn and experiment with my compost pile, fire starting techniques, or any other skill. It’s also going to take a lot of reviewing the book. Luckily, they include some cartoons in the book for quick reference and reminders of the principles taught.
So dads, next time your child is warming up for a meltdown, prepare and equip yourself with some skills to handle the situation. Every family needs better communication. Every parent needs a few parenting tips every now and then. Here’s your new handbook– even for a camping trip.
STS Recommended? Yes, because the skills taught in “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” work in tandem with the STS mission. When a child is having difficult feelings or you’re struggling to connect with a teenager, getting them outdoors can help them to reset and open up a bit more. Whether that be during a drive to a park or campsite, around a campfire, or even while chopping some wood in the backyard.